I’ve talked about it quite a bit– going out on my own, ditching the 9-5 office job. And you know what? I haven’t looked back, on that part. But let me tell you– sometimes my lizard brain has a mind of its own, you know? In the month that I’ve been a free bird, anxiety has been NO JOKE.
One of my biggest responses to both depression or anxiety is to SHUT IT DOWN. Meaning, I don’t do anything. I sleep, sometimes 16-20 hours a day, if I can. Yeah, not healthy. But it’s been my go-to method for a long time.
And in the month of September so far, I’ve been woozy and dizzy, and I’ve fully passed out (twice!). Sound crazy? Feels even worse, I can assure you. A few years ago I had heart tests run, and I’m fit as a fiddle. But those psychosomatic responses aren’t here to play– so I have heart palpitations and fits of blackouts. It’s a great time.
I think all this stems from the fact that I don’t transition well and I have so much free time and what if clients stop booking massages and I don’t make any money?! You know, the normal stuff.
So what am I going to do about all of this? Here are my actionable plans:
- I have already emailed my therapist to get back on her schedule
- I have to get out and do more– I am running a 5k in 2 weeks and I think I may go (alone!) to one of my favorite comedians who is coming to town
- I’ve been taking slow walks daily, about 20-30 minutes. Slow enough so I don’t get dizzy, but enough to get my heart rate up and hopefully keep my heart healthy
- I need to start advertising and reaching out more. Know anyone in Indianapolis
who could use a massage? Refer them to me!!
What do you do to combat your anxiety? How to you populate your free time? Do you have a walking buddy (where did you get her?!)?
Not sure how everyone else is feeling this week, as I’ve felt a bit disconnected and withdrawn. I’ve been running so hard recently that this crash of a week was bound to happen. I’m taking Friday off this week– my first WHOLE DAY OFF in quite a while. But sometimes, you gotta… Listen to your hearts, ya’ll.
- I’ve been on #TeamLiveAlone for 6 years now. I’ve learned these lessons and so many more.
- Busy busy busy? You may be avoiding something. What could it be…? Take a minute, read this article, then think about it– what are you avoiding?
- Oh Dear Drea is the blog I’ve followed the longest, since back before I really understood what a blog was. I’ve enjoyed watching her life change and her kid grow, even if they really are all strangers. In this post, she had some good musings about travel and not having to love every spot you visit.
- Do you have trouble saving money? What are your techniques for improvement? Personally, I have an app that functions as a basic ledger (checkbook) and I keep things in “accounts.” While this money is all actually in the same account, I can move things around on my app (and in my head) and into specific things I’m saving for or emergency funds. It’s like I’m hiding money from myself, which honestly– I sometimes need.
- If you live in Indy, do yourself a favor and swing by Shapiro’s Deli this weekend. Every time I go, it’s like rediscovering a hidden gem. It’s like I forget how great it is every time– until I walk in again. Dear Shapiro’s, I promise to stop forgetting how wonderful you are.
Ironic that I talked about how busy I’ve been, but then posted a link on how busy isn’t all that great? To be honest, I’ve never been a busy bee. I love taking it easy and having days off. It’s just this transition time, which I’ve talked about before. I’m working hard with a foot in both worlds right now, trying to make my dreams work by moving forward (while finishing up the old stuff). Two more weeks and I’m done at the office. I’m ready, I think. But still very freaked out.