I’ve talked about it quite a bit– going out on my own, ditching the 9-5 office job. And you know what? I haven’t looked back, on that part. But let me tell you– sometimes my lizard brain has a mind of its own, you know? In the month that I’ve been a free bird, anxiety has been NO JOKE.
One of my biggest responses to both depression or anxiety is to SHUT IT DOWN. Meaning, I don’t do anything. I sleep, sometimes 16-20 hours a day, if I can. Yeah, not healthy. But it’s been my go-to method for a long time.
And in the month of September so far, I’ve been woozy and dizzy, and I’ve fully passed out (twice!). Sound crazy? Feels even worse, I can assure you. A few years ago I had heart tests run, and I’m fit as a fiddle. But those psychosomatic responses aren’t here to play– so I have heart palpitations and fits of blackouts. It’s a great time.
I think all this stems from the fact that I don’t transition well and I have so much free time and what if clients stop booking massages and I don’t make any money?! You know, the normal stuff.
So what am I going to do about all of this? Here are my actionable plans:
- I have already emailed my therapist to get back on her schedule
- I have to get out and do more– I am running a 5k in 2 weeks and I think I may go (alone!) to one of my favorite comedians who is coming to town
- I’ve been taking slow walks daily, about 20-30 minutes. Slow enough so I don’t get dizzy, but enough to get my heart rate up and hopefully keep my heart healthy
- I need to start advertising and reaching out more. Know anyone in Indianapolis
who could use a massage? Refer them to me!!
What do you do to combat your anxiety? How to you populate your free time? Do you have a walking buddy (where did you get her?!)?
Well, I kicked off this week on Monday with a $106 error. Luckily it was quickly remedied and returned to my credit card.
But beyond the mistakes, it’s been a week full of girl’s night, a re-connection with an old friend, and therapy (or- therapy, therapy, and therapy). Not to mention kitties that still cuddle since it can’t seem to stop snowing here in Central Indiana (helloooo, Spring? Where are you?!) All in all, a good week for the heart. Hope you’ve felt it, too.
- Why You’ll Never Have Your Sh*t Together Alternately titled, “HEY ABBI, THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN FOR YOU” To be honest, this is something maybe I’ve learned in tandem with Kelly Etz, the writer of the article, because I’ve done something– I’ve kicked off this blog. In a big way.
- Hello, I’m Abbi (Celexa, 40mg) and I LOVE MY MEDS. They make me feel like a functional human person most days. And sometimes my legs twitch when I’m trying to fall asleep, and I’ve gained 10-15 pounds, and my stomach sometimes does that weird thing where it doesn’t want any food. But you guys– I’m living my life.
- For years, I’ve eschewed ginger ale and I’ve hated on Ale-8 (despite living in Kentucky for 3 years), but in my quest to calm my angry stomach (see the bullet point prior), I reached for this. And IT’S SO GOOD. This is definitely my new go-to kombucha. Side note– I want to learn how to make kombucha. Think I could dupe the recipe?
- This was just a cool article about people turning some things around. Plus I love books. And libraries. So…
- I love routines. And while I crave the idea of working for myself (another post, another day…), I really struggle with the idea of no routine. This one hit me. And may be a go-to resource for me in the years to come.
Hope these will get you through until 5– Happy weekend, all!