Thirty for Thirty: Part 1

I’m turning 30 on Memorial Day. My thirtieth is a National Holiday—you’re welcome, take the day off!

I’ve got a fun day/ weekend planned with friends, and plans for a whole new decade! I’m not great at maintaining resolutions or anything, but man, do I love a check off list. So I made one! For my 30th year, I present to you my Thirty for Thirty bucket list, Part One
(10 at a time seemed like a more manageable bite).

 

  1. Run 3 5ks 
    I already have one in mind– Wine at the Line, which I’ve done the past 3 years. So that leaves 2 more for me to find. If you’ve got a local suggestion, let me know!
  2. Save $1000
    It’s only $83.33 a week. Doable, right? I just need to build up my emergency fund, which is what I mean with this one. Tips on how to stop impulse spending are welcome.
  3. Learn 12 new recipes
    That’s one a month. Something beyond my limited kitchen skills. I’d like to shy away from sweets, too, because I am a pretty good baker, I just need more time in the cooking department. Also, see the above goal of saving money. This saves  you money, riiiiight?
  4. Support local more
    I’m not sure how to quantify this, so just a general feeling? Buy at a local store or eat at a local restaurant instead of ordering online or eating at a chain. Bam.
  5. Find best probiotic for me
    I use this one right now, and it works pretty well. I also love kombucha. Maybe some combination of these? Are you supposed to rotate? Or stick with one and love it forever? Maybe I’ll do more research. Maybe I’ll write a post…
  6. Start a blog
    Done! So this one will transform more into maintaining and creating regular content. Basically, keep it up!
  7. Repaint the porch
    This is an around-the-house-to-do, but I figured those belonged on this list, too. I have a house now! Time to home maintain Grey Cottage like an adult-figure.
  8. Create a garden
    I tried a garden once, in my apartment complex. My 10×10 plot was overrun with thistles, but I did get one beautiful tomato out of the whole thing. I guess the goal here would be exceed one tomato in output.
  9. Start a Bullet Journal
    Also done! I’ll definitely be posting about this, it is my new favorite thing/my brain in physical form (or the thoughts in physical form… I don’t know). Anyways. I love it and it’s the best and everyone should bullet journal I just want everyone to be happy and journal forever. Maintain this and write some posts here about it, that’s what this is all about.
  10. Workshop with Joy the Baker
    Oh hi, I’m OBSESSED with Joy the Baker. I’m determined to make her my best friend, but I have to meet her first!
    Okay, so all general creepiness aside, I’ve wanted to go to New Orleans forever, and I truly dig Joy the Baker, so why not two birds with one stone? My preferences are her workshops on brunch or pies, and NOT during the summer. I am a delicate flower in the heat. I wilt. I die. I probably suck at pies.

Friday Five- 005

Oh, it’s Friday! A rainy, stormy one here. This week has been interesting. I’ve gotten to help out at a sunny high school track meet and hold my newborn baby niece! I also have been nursing a rather icky cold (caught at the hospital, no less) and a sick-ish kitty. Warm weather brings all kinds of changes, and I’m so ready for it.

  1. A new line of stationary. Like we don’t have enough paper products. Oh, you don’t? Me neither. Never enough.
  2. Tomorrow is Derby Day. You know what that means– mint juleps, fancy hats, and a chance to pretend we’re all Kentuckians. I spent 4 years near Lexington and Kentucky feels like my second home state. Plus, bourbon is my go-to liquor if I need something stronger than wine. Cheers!
  3. Whoa. And you you thought YOUR parents were bad… It’s just something to keep in mind as things keep getting released about the recently-arrested Golden State Killer (/EARONS). That guy has a family. Oh, and bonus article– Don’t blame Bonnie for HIS crimes. Geez.

  4. In the quest for always learning, how about a class on happiness? I wonder if you get graded…

  5. Hallelujah, ice cream!

Happy ice cream weather, Derby Day, and if you have an extra mint julep, send it my way…

Failure (in which we cut our losses)

Last week, we talked about how much failure sucks and then we talked about a few good steps in trying again. These are really great lessons to learn–

Except, when it’s time to call it quits. I think I’m calling this final tier Tier Four Failure, Not Giving Up. This one is hard. This one we don’t joke about. Because this one takes getting serious and knowing that it’s time to move on from a goal.

basketballpractice
via Kate Austin Photography

Maybe it’s not the right time. Maybe it’s not the right thing. Maybe it’s not the right why. You’ve invested a lot—the whole blood, sweat, tears scenario. But you can’t let that stop you. Just because you spent the money, the energy, the emotion, the time—that won’t always make something happen.

It’s a tricky thing, knowing when enough is enough and knowing when to stop pushing. But if you practice the sort of honesty we practiced last week, and really listen—you’ll know when it’s time. Or, unfortunately, something else might make that decision for you. In that case, I’m sorry. I know it sucks.

Take the time you need to grieve, reflect on what lessons you’ve learned and can take with you, and, when you’re ready, let’s pick up and carry on.

This is not the end of all things, just this thing. So, back up to the top. Congratulations, you’ve tried something. And you’ve failed. But also, you’ve succeeded.

A Monday update

I meant to have a whole post up today, but things change– especially this: I’m an Auntie! My only sister had her first baby, a little girl, at 4:45am on Friday morning. Everyone is fine, and we’re so so excited for this new little addition. I want her to stay tiny forever but I also cannot WAIT for all the adventures.

I’m not adding any pictures, because her parents are pretty private. Plus, who wants their picture splashed all over the internet before you’re even a few days old? Geez.

Anyways. So excited. So tired. So snotty (what?! Oh yeah. Picked up a virus at the hospital. Awesome.)

Friday Five- 004

All this rain and I’ve honestly been a bit of a grumpasaurus. You too? But I finally DID get a haircut and I’m eagerly anticipating a little one via my sister. So, things are looking good ahead.

watercolorblooms

  1.  What’s your passion? Where do you spend your energy? This has been a big question I’ve been ruminating on for a while, realizing I’m tired of spending my energy on other people’s goals. This is a solid read.
  2. Do you journal? Bullet journal? Some other form of connecting with yourself? I’ve always been a bit hit-or-miss on journaling, but I started Bullet Journaling and I’ve taken off like a house on fire. I LOVE it. And I think it’s helped me feel more connected to myself and my mind than I have been for a long time. There will be posts later on Bullet Journals, don’t you worry.
  3. OMG. I love several of these books already, and didn’t even know they were making Where’d You Go, Bernadette? into a movie! So excited! Time to get to reading some of these others, too. I always love adding to my To Be Read list!
  4.  Need some moody, floral inspo? Check out this Insta that I LOVE.
  5.  I got solidly excited about this project when I found out about it just a few days ago. I’m not in the realm of being good enough to submit. But maybe with practice, I’ll get up the courage!

Happy weekend, friends! And wish my sister a safe and healthy delivery (whenever beeb decides to show his/her little face!)

Failure (in which we try, try again)

Well. You failed. That thing you tried doing, it didn’t work. You didn’t get the job, your business didn’t succeed, you broke up, the souffle fell. Whatever. You failed. Congratulations, you’re a human person.

I know it feels rough to fail. But there are a few things to keep in mind. First, don’t take it personally. Second, failing does not make you a failure. Your identity is not wrapped up in this thing that failed. Sure, you had something to do with it, but this thing, this FAILURE, really is only a Tier One Failure, entry level stuff. There’s a reason it’s called a “rough draft”—it isn’t pretty. But now you’ve gotten that out of the way!

Worse would be giving up, not trying again. That’s a Tier Two Failure. To continue growing as a person, avoid this. Have you ever watched a kid learning to walk? They fall, and they fall, and just when you think they’ve gotten the hang of it, they fall again. They cry, they laugh, they don’t give up. So don’t give up. Try, try again.

But here’s the thing, you have to do it a bit differently next time. Your Tier Three Failure is refusing to learn. This is the big part of the thing—it’s time to do some work. So. Let’s learn from our mistakes; it’s time to reflect.

I’m going to recommend writing these questions (and their answers) down. But that’s the sort of person I am. So grab a notebook (bullet journal, the back of an envelope, a Starbucks napkin, whatever). Ready?

What went wrong?

What went right?

What is the goal? (OR- what result am I looking for?)

Why is that the goal?

I’ll give you a hint, the WHY will be the hardest to answer. Dig deep. Search. Be honest. Because the why is what drives the what. It may speak to why things went the way they did on the first go-around. It may speak to other decisions, attitudes, and actions in your life. Answer “Why?” and you’re well on the way to making a better second try!   

Armed with our Pro-and-Cons-List-on-Steroids, we can adapt our plan and strategize with a fresh perspective. Take a look at what went wrong and what went right answers. What do you need to do more of? What do you need to do less of? What other changes need to be implemented? It’s a strategy session—fake left, go right (or some other sports-related reference…)  What were the weakness of the first draft? Where can you build on your strengths? Where do we go from here?

And then we repeat the process. Like that toddling tot, we keep on trying. Because we see other people doing it, we know it can be done. We know it’s attainable. We just have to keep putting in the work.

Failure

I am not a big risk-taker. Truly, failure is one of my biggest fears, and it’s stopped me from doing a lot. But not everything– some things I’ve jumped on. And oh boy, have I failed. In what ways?

I thought I was going to learn to run a coffee shop. I moved out of state for a year to learn, and came back with the knowledge that was NOT what I wanted to do.

I dropped out of college (only for a semester)

I don’t think I’ve ever made it in a romantic relationship past a few months.

I didn’t scroll down on a customer email and didn’t get them the product they needed.

And my most recent very big failure– I tried to go out on my own. Last year, I decided to go to part time at my office job while trying to start a business of my own. I’m a massage therapist, and I thought people would flock to me. But a series of mental health snafus and not-marketing-myself-at-all, and I think I ended up paying more in rent than I made! Ultimately, I think I felt ready, but wasn’t actually ready. I went back to full time at that office job.

But we’re calling it a false-start. I tried last year and honestly, I failed. But guess what I’m doing this year? Quitting my job! I’m ready to go again, I have a few more plans, and a lot more worry, and I’m SO excited to put the things I learned last year into practice.

So what’s with all this talk of my failures? Well the next two Wednesdays, I’ve got two posts about life and failure coming at you– I just wanted to let you know that hey, I’ve failed in big ways, too.

What about you? Where have you failed? Are you ready to try again?