Friday Five- 004

All this rain and I’ve honestly been a bit of a grumpasaurus. You too? But I finally DID get a haircut and I’m eagerly anticipating a little one via my sister. So, things are looking good ahead.

watercolorblooms

  1.  What’s your passion? Where do you spend your energy? This has been a big question I’ve been ruminating on for a while, realizing I’m tired of spending my energy on other people’s goals. This is a solid read.
  2. Do you journal? Bullet journal? Some other form of connecting with yourself? I’ve always been a bit hit-or-miss on journaling, but I started Bullet Journaling and I’ve taken off like a house on fire. I LOVE it. And I think it’s helped me feel more connected to myself and my mind than I have been for a long time. There will be posts later on Bullet Journals, don’t you worry.
  3. OMG. I love several of these books already, and didn’t even know they were making Where’d You Go, Bernadette? into a movie! So excited! Time to get to reading some of these others, too. I always love adding to my To Be Read list!
  4.  Need some moody, floral inspo? Check out this Insta that I LOVE.
  5.  I got solidly excited about this project when I found out about it just a few days ago. I’m not in the realm of being good enough to submit. But maybe with practice, I’ll get up the courage!

Happy weekend, friends! And wish my sister a safe and healthy delivery (whenever beeb decides to show his/her little face!)

Failure (in which we try, try again)

Well. You failed. That thing you tried doing, it didn’t work. You didn’t get the job, your business didn’t succeed, you broke up, the souffle fell. Whatever. You failed. Congratulations, you’re a human person.

I know it feels rough to fail. But there are a few things to keep in mind. First, don’t take it personally. Second, failing does not make you a failure. Your identity is not wrapped up in this thing that failed. Sure, you had something to do with it, but this thing, this FAILURE, really is only a Tier One Failure, entry level stuff. There’s a reason it’s called a “rough draft”—it isn’t pretty. But now you’ve gotten that out of the way!

Worse would be giving up, not trying again. That’s a Tier Two Failure. To continue growing as a person, avoid this. Have you ever watched a kid learning to walk? They fall, and they fall, and just when you think they’ve gotten the hang of it, they fall again. They cry, they laugh, they don’t give up. So don’t give up. Try, try again.

But here’s the thing, you have to do it a bit differently next time. Your Tier Three Failure is refusing to learn. This is the big part of the thing—it’s time to do some work. So. Let’s learn from our mistakes; it’s time to reflect.

I’m going to recommend writing these questions (and their answers) down. But that’s the sort of person I am. So grab a notebook (bullet journal, the back of an envelope, a Starbucks napkin, whatever). Ready?

What went wrong?

What went right?

What is the goal? (OR- what result am I looking for?)

Why is that the goal?

I’ll give you a hint, the WHY will be the hardest to answer. Dig deep. Search. Be honest. Because the why is what drives the what. It may speak to why things went the way they did on the first go-around. It may speak to other decisions, attitudes, and actions in your life. Answer “Why?” and you’re well on the way to making a better second try!   

Armed with our Pro-and-Cons-List-on-Steroids, we can adapt our plan and strategize with a fresh perspective. Take a look at what went wrong and what went right answers. What do you need to do more of? What do you need to do less of? What other changes need to be implemented? It’s a strategy session—fake left, go right (or some other sports-related reference…)  What were the weakness of the first draft? Where can you build on your strengths? Where do we go from here?

And then we repeat the process. Like that toddling tot, we keep on trying. Because we see other people doing it, we know it can be done. We know it’s attainable. We just have to keep putting in the work.

Failure

I am not a big risk-taker. Truly, failure is one of my biggest fears, and it’s stopped me from doing a lot. But not everything– some things I’ve jumped on. And oh boy, have I failed. In what ways?

I thought I was going to learn to run a coffee shop. I moved out of state for a year to learn, and came back with the knowledge that was NOT what I wanted to do.

I dropped out of college (only for a semester)

I don’t think I’ve ever made it in a romantic relationship past a few months.

I didn’t scroll down on a customer email and didn’t get them the product they needed.

And my most recent very big failure– I tried to go out on my own. Last year, I decided to go to part time at my office job while trying to start a business of my own. I’m a massage therapist, and I thought people would flock to me. But a series of mental health snafus and not-marketing-myself-at-all, and I think I ended up paying more in rent than I made! Ultimately, I think I felt ready, but wasn’t actually ready. I went back to full time at that office job.

But we’re calling it a false-start. I tried last year and honestly, I failed. But guess what I’m doing this year? Quitting my job! I’m ready to go again, I have a few more plans, and a lot more worry, and I’m SO excited to put the things I learned last year into practice.

So what’s with all this talk of my failures? Well the next two Wednesdays, I’ve got two posts about life and failure coming at you– I just wanted to let you know that hey, I’ve failed in big ways, too.

What about you? Where have you failed? Are you ready to try again?

Friday Five- 003

Happy Friday! What has your week held, friends? Mine has had snow, it’s had sun, it’s had naps, tears, and friends over for dinner! High highs and low lows, that’s where I’ve been.

Here’s my way of saying… We’ve almost made it. Let’s hold on until 5 o’clock…or so.

  1. I think no one had to teach us to compare ourselves. We do it to fit it. We do it to survive. We do it to torture ourselves a little. Let’s stop, huh?
  2. Do you have kids? Does the idea of a chubby baby make you want to run away in terror? I’m becoming a first-time aunt any time now, and I’m so excited. Personally, I love a baby and would love to become a mother, but I’m single and near-30, and the idea of going it alone doesn’t sound too appealing to me. I’m just adding my word-vomit to this reflection. What say you? Yay or nay to reproduction?
  3. I just picked up on this podcast, though it’s been running for 3 years. And this month, their book came out! Mine came Wednesday and I’m wading in. I love all the practicality and encouragement and I’m SO thankful to be in a time where there are so many resources from those who have gone before us. Makes starting out a little less unknown, a little less scary.
  4. I mean, I know my problems are not everyone’s problems. But my already blonde and thin eyebrows are perpetually thinning (is this a fun part of growing up no one ever told me? Why do I keep getting stray, wiry whiskers on my chin? I digress…) Anyways, if you’re with me and don’t wanna pay so much money for expensive potions to make your brows grow, here’s a DIY (spoiler: IT’S JUST CASTOR OIL. WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE?!)

  5. My problem with “effortless cool” is it ends up being “unattainably too hard” for me. Maybe I’m not cool in the way I’m supposed to be. I love French-inspired spaces, though. What I wouldn’t give… (ps. Wouldn’t give my cats away. Dealbreaker right there.)

 

Hope these help get you through. Happy weekend, all!

Friday Five- 002

Well, I kicked off this week on Monday with a $106 error. Luckily it was quickly remedied and returned to my credit card.

But beyond the mistakes, it’s been a week full of girl’s night, a re-connection with an old friend, and therapy (or- therapy, therapy, and therapy). Not to mention kitties that still cuddle since it can’t seem to stop snowing here in Central Indiana (helloooo, Spring? Where are you?!) All in all, a good week for the heart. Hope you’ve felt it, too.

  1. Why You’ll Never Have Your Sh*t Together  Alternately titled, “HEY ABBI, THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN FOR YOU” To be honest, this is something maybe I’ve learned in tandem with Kelly Etz, the writer of the article, because I’ve done something– I’ve kicked off this blog. In a big way.
  2. Hello, I’m Abbi (Celexa, 40mg) and I LOVE MY MEDS. They make me feel like a functional human person most days. And sometimes my legs twitch when I’m trying to fall asleep, and I’ve gained 10-15 pounds, and my stomach sometimes does that weird thing where it doesn’t want any food. But you guys– I’m living my life.
  3. For years, I’ve eschewed ginger ale and I’ve hated on Ale-8 (despite living in Kentucky for 3 years), but in my quest to calm my angry stomach (see the bullet point prior), I reached for this. And IT’S SO GOOD. This is definitely my new go-to kombucha. Side note– I want to learn how to make kombucha. Think I could dupe the recipe?
  4. This was just a cool article about people turning some things around. Plus I love books. And libraries. So…
  5. I love routines. And while I crave the idea of working for myself (another post, another day…), I really struggle with the idea of no routine. This one hit me. And may be a go-to resource for me in the years to come.

Hope these will get you through until 5– Happy weekend, all!

Friday Five-001

Happy Friday! What a week– a peak of spring, a LOT of chocolate, and the kickoff of a religious season. I don’t know about you, but I need a good stretch, a walk outside, a glass or two of wine, and a face mask…

For this first Friday on the blog, I’d like to introduce my first feature– Friday Five. Five things from around the web to get you through to that 5 o’clock bell.

Enjoy, follow links down the rabbit hole– and then on to the weekend!

 

    1. This is an old recipe from Joy, but a new try for me! It turned out wonderfully and to much acclaim (I topped it with fresh strawberries for the extra Valentine’s kick it wanted)
    2. Happy Tax Season! What kind of person are you– have you already filed your taxes or are you waiting until April 14?  
      To highlight my Type-A personality: I’ve already received my federal refund! Hooray!
    3. A visual delight— I love having this account pop up in my feed. It hits all the right aesthetic and symmetry-loving feels. 
    4. Burlesque Bingo, you say? Sounds GREAT, Indianapolis!
    5. Did someone send you flowers this week? If not, did you buy flowers for yourself this week? Girl, treat yo’self. And keep those blooms looking great a little longer. 

So what’s your weekend plan? I’m planning naps, perhaps a manicure, and a healthy dose of The West Wing. #whatsnext, amiright?!