Thirty for Thirty: Part 2

I just want to say that I didn’t rearrange these 30 things after I first wrote them, so they’re in no particular order. But I supposed the first 10 things are what immediately popped into my head, and these next ten are things I had to think about for a bit.

 11.  Only buy clothes secondhand This one I’ve done before, I usually buy from ThredUp which I love and have gotten some GREAT deals on!

 12.  Lion tattoo I have an artist in mind, but she’s booked out pretty far and hasn’t replied to my submission yet. So… this one might be postponed until she can get me in (I’m not going to link to her because I’m not trying to put her on blast or anything). But I guess even if it’s 2019, I’ll still be 30 for a while. So this might still fall into the year.

 13.  Compost This one I’ve also done before, but in an apartment was hard. I had a plastic box under my kitchen sink with holes poked in the top! It worked, because things naturally decompose, but it always stayed so soggy. But now I have a yard! I can have a whole pile, with air to keep it dry! Hooray!

 14.  See the ocean I’m not sure where. So this will take some doing, or planning, or maybe just a spur of the moment thing. Anyways, it’s an attempt to temporarily vacate the Midwest 

 15.  See some mountains Again, the Midwest doesn’t have one of these. What I’m really saying is take a trip somewhere— which is something I haven’t done for a minute!

 16.  Read 30 books This started at 12, then moved up to 15, and then I decided to stick with the 30 theme. I’m a quick reader, so this is totally doable. I think.

17. Explore more with bodywork This one I need to amend a bit, only because I’m back with massage therapy again, and my state license didn’t expire as quickly as I thought– yay! So I’m picking back up with this on Saturdays until I’m out of my office job. (Again, not linking this one, but if you live in the Indy area and need a massage, feel free to privately message me)

 18.  Use every page in sketchbook This is my goal to art more. I know that creativity breeds creativity, so this is just another avenue, hopefully to drive my writing a bit more, too…

19.  Create outline for a novel …which I hope will lead me to THIS. I’ve always wanted to write, especially a novel. I have half-ideas, but I’m hoping to actually sit down and flesh them out a bit. Just to get a complete idea out there.

20.  Buy a piece of art I love I already have several of these. But who doesn’t need more art in their lives?! I know I have plenty of wall space just begging to be zhushed.

Thirty for Thirty: Part 1

I’m turning 30 on Memorial Day. My thirtieth is a National Holiday—you’re welcome, take the day off!

I’ve got a fun day/ weekend planned with friends, and plans for a whole new decade! I’m not great at maintaining resolutions or anything, but man, do I love a check off list. So I made one! For my 30th year, I present to you my Thirty for Thirty bucket list, Part One
(10 at a time seemed like a more manageable bite).

 

  1. Run 3 5ks 
    I already have one in mind– Wine at the Line, which I’ve done the past 3 years. So that leaves 2 more for me to find. If you’ve got a local suggestion, let me know!
  2. Save $1000
    It’s only $83.33 a week. Doable, right? I just need to build up my emergency fund, which is what I mean with this one. Tips on how to stop impulse spending are welcome.
  3. Learn 12 new recipes
    That’s one a month. Something beyond my limited kitchen skills. I’d like to shy away from sweets, too, because I am a pretty good baker, I just need more time in the cooking department. Also, see the above goal of saving money. This saves  you money, riiiiight?
  4. Support local more
    I’m not sure how to quantify this, so just a general feeling? Buy at a local store or eat at a local restaurant instead of ordering online or eating at a chain. Bam.
  5. Find best probiotic for me
    I use this one right now, and it works pretty well. I also love kombucha. Maybe some combination of these? Are you supposed to rotate? Or stick with one and love it forever? Maybe I’ll do more research. Maybe I’ll write a post…
  6. Start a blog
    Done! So this one will transform more into maintaining and creating regular content. Basically, keep it up!
  7. Repaint the porch
    This is an around-the-house-to-do, but I figured those belonged on this list, too. I have a house now! Time to home maintain Grey Cottage like an adult-figure.
  8. Create a garden
    I tried a garden once, in my apartment complex. My 10×10 plot was overrun with thistles, but I did get one beautiful tomato out of the whole thing. I guess the goal here would be exceed one tomato in output.
  9. Start a Bullet Journal
    Also done! I’ll definitely be posting about this, it is my new favorite thing/my brain in physical form (or the thoughts in physical form… I don’t know). Anyways. I love it and it’s the best and everyone should bullet journal I just want everyone to be happy and journal forever. Maintain this and write some posts here about it, that’s what this is all about.
  10. Workshop with Joy the Baker
    Oh hi, I’m OBSESSED with Joy the Baker. I’m determined to make her my best friend, but I have to meet her first!
    Okay, so all general creepiness aside, I’ve wanted to go to New Orleans forever, and I truly dig Joy the Baker, so why not two birds with one stone? My preferences are her workshops on brunch or pies, and NOT during the summer. I am a delicate flower in the heat. I wilt. I die. I probably suck at pies.

Failure (in which we cut our losses)

Last week, we talked about how much failure sucks and then we talked about a few good steps in trying again. These are really great lessons to learn–

Except, when it’s time to call it quits. I think I’m calling this final tier Tier Four Failure, Not Giving Up. This one is hard. This one we don’t joke about. Because this one takes getting serious and knowing that it’s time to move on from a goal.

basketballpractice
via Kate Austin Photography

Maybe it’s not the right time. Maybe it’s not the right thing. Maybe it’s not the right why. You’ve invested a lot—the whole blood, sweat, tears scenario. But you can’t let that stop you. Just because you spent the money, the energy, the emotion, the time—that won’t always make something happen.

It’s a tricky thing, knowing when enough is enough and knowing when to stop pushing. But if you practice the sort of honesty we practiced last week, and really listen—you’ll know when it’s time. Or, unfortunately, something else might make that decision for you. In that case, I’m sorry. I know it sucks.

Take the time you need to grieve, reflect on what lessons you’ve learned and can take with you, and, when you’re ready, let’s pick up and carry on.

This is not the end of all things, just this thing. So, back up to the top. Congratulations, you’ve tried something. And you’ve failed. But also, you’ve succeeded.

A Monday update

I meant to have a whole post up today, but things change– especially this: I’m an Auntie! My only sister had her first baby, a little girl, at 4:45am on Friday morning. Everyone is fine, and we’re so so excited for this new little addition. I want her to stay tiny forever but I also cannot WAIT for all the adventures.

I’m not adding any pictures, because her parents are pretty private. Plus, who wants their picture splashed all over the internet before you’re even a few days old? Geez.

Anyways. So excited. So tired. So snotty (what?! Oh yeah. Picked up a virus at the hospital. Awesome.)

Failure (in which we try, try again)

Well. You failed. That thing you tried doing, it didn’t work. You didn’t get the job, your business didn’t succeed, you broke up, the souffle fell. Whatever. You failed. Congratulations, you’re a human person.

I know it feels rough to fail. But there are a few things to keep in mind. First, don’t take it personally. Second, failing does not make you a failure. Your identity is not wrapped up in this thing that failed. Sure, you had something to do with it, but this thing, this FAILURE, really is only a Tier One Failure, entry level stuff. There’s a reason it’s called a “rough draft”—it isn’t pretty. But now you’ve gotten that out of the way!

Worse would be giving up, not trying again. That’s a Tier Two Failure. To continue growing as a person, avoid this. Have you ever watched a kid learning to walk? They fall, and they fall, and just when you think they’ve gotten the hang of it, they fall again. They cry, they laugh, they don’t give up. So don’t give up. Try, try again.

But here’s the thing, you have to do it a bit differently next time. Your Tier Three Failure is refusing to learn. This is the big part of the thing—it’s time to do some work. So. Let’s learn from our mistakes; it’s time to reflect.

I’m going to recommend writing these questions (and their answers) down. But that’s the sort of person I am. So grab a notebook (bullet journal, the back of an envelope, a Starbucks napkin, whatever). Ready?

What went wrong?

What went right?

What is the goal? (OR- what result am I looking for?)

Why is that the goal?

I’ll give you a hint, the WHY will be the hardest to answer. Dig deep. Search. Be honest. Because the why is what drives the what. It may speak to why things went the way they did on the first go-around. It may speak to other decisions, attitudes, and actions in your life. Answer “Why?” and you’re well on the way to making a better second try!   

Armed with our Pro-and-Cons-List-on-Steroids, we can adapt our plan and strategize with a fresh perspective. Take a look at what went wrong and what went right answers. What do you need to do more of? What do you need to do less of? What other changes need to be implemented? It’s a strategy session—fake left, go right (or some other sports-related reference…)  What were the weakness of the first draft? Where can you build on your strengths? Where do we go from here?

And then we repeat the process. Like that toddling tot, we keep on trying. Because we see other people doing it, we know it can be done. We know it’s attainable. We just have to keep putting in the work.

Failure

I am not a big risk-taker. Truly, failure is one of my biggest fears, and it’s stopped me from doing a lot. But not everything– some things I’ve jumped on. And oh boy, have I failed. In what ways?

I thought I was going to learn to run a coffee shop. I moved out of state for a year to learn, and came back with the knowledge that was NOT what I wanted to do.

I dropped out of college (only for a semester)

I don’t think I’ve ever made it in a romantic relationship past a few months.

I didn’t scroll down on a customer email and didn’t get them the product they needed.

And my most recent very big failure– I tried to go out on my own. Last year, I decided to go to part time at my office job while trying to start a business of my own. I’m a massage therapist, and I thought people would flock to me. But a series of mental health snafus and not-marketing-myself-at-all, and I think I ended up paying more in rent than I made! Ultimately, I think I felt ready, but wasn’t actually ready. I went back to full time at that office job.

But we’re calling it a false-start. I tried last year and honestly, I failed. But guess what I’m doing this year? Quitting my job! I’m ready to go again, I have a few more plans, and a lot more worry, and I’m SO excited to put the things I learned last year into practice.

So what’s with all this talk of my failures? Well the next two Wednesdays, I’ve got two posts about life and failure coming at you– I just wanted to let you know that hey, I’ve failed in big ways, too.

What about you? Where have you failed? Are you ready to try again?