The Struggle is real: Anxiety and a wide-open schedule

I’ve talked about it quite a bit– going out on my own, ditching the 9-5 office job. And you know what? I haven’t looked back, on that part. But let me tell you– sometimes my lizard brain has a mind of its own, you know? In the month that I’ve been a free bird, anxiety has been NO JOKE.

One of my biggest responses to both depression or anxiety is to SHUT IT DOWN. Meaning,  I don’t do anything. I sleep, sometimes 16-20 hours a day, if I can. Yeah, not healthy. But it’s been my go-to method for a long time.

And in the month of September so far, I’ve been woozy and dizzy, and I’ve fully passed out (twice!). Sound crazy? Feels even worse, I can assure you. A few years ago I had heart tests run, and I’m fit as a fiddle. But those psychosomatic responses aren’t here to play– so I have heart palpitations and fits of blackouts. It’s a great time.

I think all this stems from the fact that I don’t transition well and I have so much free time and what if clients stop booking massages and I don’t make any money?! You know, the normal stuff.

So what am I going to do about all of this? Here are my actionable plans:

  1. I have already emailed my therapist to get back on her schedule
  2. I have to get out and do more– I am running a 5k in 2 weeks and I think I may go (alone!) to one of my favorite comedians who is coming to town
  3. I’ve been taking slow walks daily, about 20-30 minutes. Slow enough so I don’t get dizzy, but enough to get my heart rate up and hopefully keep my heart healthy
  4.  I need to start advertising and reaching out more. Know anyone in Indianapolis who could use a massage? Refer them to me!!

 

What do you do to combat your anxiety? How to you populate your free time? Do you have a walking buddy (where did you get her?!)?

Author: Abbi Mast

I'm a massage therapist, a bit of a dreamer, and SSRI success story (ongoingly). I'm an outgoing introvert, Hufflepuff, cat mom, avid reader, aspiring hippy, and lover of deep conversations over almost any liquid (y'know, coffee, tea, wine, beer, kombucha, water...)

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